Business
Business and marriage don’t always stay in separate lanes. Here’s some reading for the overlap.
These articles are public. Private community conversations stay in the Facebook group.
I’ll Just Help with the Phones.
Famous Last Words. In mid-2017, my husband, Doug, decided to open his own plumbing business. I was on board, but I wanted nothing to do with it. I was happy with my stay-at-home-mom life, homeschooling our kids, and cool with just being the plumber's wife. My role in the business consisted simply of helping an hour or so a week with the occasional invoice or email. At the time, my husband did almost exclusively residential new construction plumbing. He worked alone most days - I say most days because our oldest son was a teenager at the time and would go with him to help. And, eventually, my husband hired some part time helpers. But still, his business at the time required minimal office work. I was coolhelping with that....usually. I have to admit, sometimes I did find it irritating for no real reason other than I had my hands full with our four boys. Like I said, I didn't really want anything to do with the business. But I did want to support my husband. So, I created and sent the invoice. Anyway, fast-forward to 2020. Business was good. It was still mostly just my husband and our oldest, Joey. But Covid was on the horizon and working new construction was taking it's toll. Doug wanted to focus more on residential service.We were worried that new construction would flounder under a global pandemic (Crazy, how it really didn't), but working with general contractors often meant arguing pricing, chasing money, and far too much drama. He had a few private customers, so it seemed like a viable jump. But there was one problem..... "I can't get any work done because I'm always on the phone." Doug was (and is) an amazing plumber and very good with people. So building clientele wasn't difficult. And it wasn't long before his phone was ringing far too often throughout the day. This made getting the actualwork done much more difficult. He also had this really annoying habit of telling everyone that "he'd get there tomorrow".So, when he said this, I responded with "Well, I can answer the phones." I had ZERO idea of what I was signing up for. In my naivety, I thought that it would be simple to just answer the phone between homeschool lessons, cleaning our home, or just doing mom things. "How hard could it be?" My first lesson? I learned I knew nothing about plumbing or answering phones for a plumbing business. In those early days, I don't think I really helped him all that much. He wasn't answering the phone for customers as much, but he was answering the phone for me asking questions like "What is a pressure valve and can we do that?" It's honestly comical when I look back at how clueless I was. But, I have a sneaking feeling that's how a lot of us got started. It didn't take long before I was creating price lists, getting calls from marketers and other vendors, buildingour social media and website, handling things like our Google profile, and helping to turn Doug's business into OUR business. Just answering the phones quickly snowballed into a full time job. In 2020, I ran the business from a three ring binderat our kitchen table. Later that same year, we purchased a 14x40 building to turn into an office at our home. In October of 2021, we rented our first office space in town. It was small, but it allowed me to hire an assistant that didn't work in my home office, gave us more visibility on Google (since we didn't want to advertise our home address), and gave ourgrowing team a home base. Then two years later in 2023, we moved to the larger space we're in today. And me? I went from wanting nothing to do with the business to absolutely loving it. But as my role grew, our lives changed. For one, I was no longer 100% wife and mom. Thankfully, working as my own boss gives me the flexibility to arrange my workaround my kids when I need to. I am no longer a stay at home mom, but I don't miss anything important in their lives. I leavework when I want to, attend field trips when I want to, take days off when I want to, and still homeschool two of my kids. This is a blessing I don't take for granted. But my marriage? Listen, I love my husband. I'm his biggest fan. But nothing, absolutely NOTHING, tested my marriage morethan working and running a business with him. You will never hear me saying it's easy. Rewarding? Yes. Easy? Heck, no.Even as we celebrated successes and learned from mistakes, we suffered through some rough, dark times. We had to learnto function as a different kind of team. It took a lot of butting heads and.....shall we say....intense discussions to figure outthat we needed to set defined and very specific roles. And as the company grew and changed, so did those roles. We don't have it completely figured out, and we still have bad days. But we have found a place where our business and our marriage function in harmonious tandem. For better or worse, they are reflections of each other. A victory in our business isa victory in our marriage and vice versa. They are so intimately intertwined that every date becomes a business meeting andevery work trip becomes a romantic get away. But, it works for us. As we found our place in a community of other business owners across the country, We got to know a lot of other husbandand wife teams. I learned that we weren't alone in our struggle to figure out how to do marriage and business together. I became friends with some of the wives, and those friendships produced conversations that ranged from "how do youhandle this situation in your business" to "I almost punched my husband in the face today". Those conversations were what got me through a lot of the rough patches in my own marriage -as well as helping me learn valuable lessons about running our business. Those relationships with women who wereliving my same life were fantastically invaluable. In so many ways, they saved my business and my marriage. And I saw that they needed it, too. Being a business owner is already hard. It's already isolating. Most people have no ideawhat it's like. And doing business with your spouse - even more difficult. No matter how hard they try, your friends can never truly understand. Not unless they are living it, too. The ability to have those very vulnerable, very open conversations with people who DO get it somehow takes a huge weight off. So, that's whereThe Plumbing Wives Roundtable comes in. It's community where we can laugh together, support each other, and even crytogether. We will talk business and marriage - nurturing both as we go. I created this for women like me. Because we can't, and shouldn't, navigate this crazy life alone. Shop talk. Wife life. We’ve got you. 💧💗